I deeply respect your wishes, but the channel won't grow when you take it super serious, it never does.. You're a small channel, think of it like a hobby that everyone does, YouTube is much harder than it was 10 years ago, back then, people didn't know about it, there weren't huge amount of channels that do the same thing, you need to realize that it's very hard to get off on YouTube nowadays, more than it was before, but keep it in the bright side, the more videos your channel has, the higher chance you have to raise to the upper hood, how do I know that? Well channels with under ~100 videos never get off so easily, maybe not channels lower than ~1000 get off, and, I'm terribly sorry for losing people in your family, but death is just next stage for them, and, they look down on you every day, hoping that you won't let yourself become something that they don't want to.