To sound all cheesy and cliche, what you've said I can really relate to...
I started putting vids up years ago, but became so obsessed with Audience Retention figures and such, that I got into my own head a little and stopped doing it, thinking it wasn't worth it or I wasn't good enough.
It's only until the last 3 years that managed to get the motivation to create back and start uploading again.
Now I have been trying to make a real go of it and try not to let numbers get to me, and just have FUN!
I think sometimes people DO get too fixated on how many Subs they have or Views etc... but I can attest to staying positive being really important and helpful
We all have our low times.... just gotta power on through it!
...Ok cheesy speech over